The Operation

The only time I've been in hospital was to have my 3 children, I've been a few times as an outpatient, but I've never so much had stitches or a broken bone - lucky really after the way my ex used to use me as a punch bag when he was under the influence.

So yesterday was d-day, I can honestly say that this last week has been a lot easier than the first, I have not felt hungry and had no cravings for any bad foods, this morning while I was out walking the dog I walked past the sandwich shop and could smell the bacon and it didn't make me feel starving I just thought "urgh that's not for me", whereas normally that would make me feel starving.

I got tonstella's place and the sofa had been made into a bed nice and comfy, after our initial talk about my weight loss so far (8lbs) and how I had felt about food this week we got down to business, it doesn't take long to get me into a deep state of relaxation, I might have said this before but I'm easy money, sometimes we have pupils who pick up this driving malarkey so easy and others that take longer, although I enjoy all pupils the ones that pick it up easy I would call them easy money and that's how I am, when I was training for this job I was "easy money" lol.

Once Stella knew I was in a deep relaxation state my mind was taken to the surgeons office where he went through the procedure of the operation and assured me that every thing would be ok, I was then taken to another room when I had to put on a gown, I was laid on a trolley and a needle was put in my hand for the anaesthetic and I was given something to drink that made me woozy.

Please remember I was woozy so I can't remember everything in detail like I did last week, the next thing was the soft music suddenly stopped and I could hear the clattering of tools, voices and could smell that hospital smell:( the operation was performed and I was assured that everything had gone fine. Now the tennis ball that I had been holding throughout this operation i was made to squeeze because this is now the size of my stomach, if I think I maybe hungry then I need to squeeze my tennis ball! I was told that I would no longer eat any crap food, I would eat 3 small meals a day and I would not snack between meals, eat until I'm satisfied and throw the waste away.

I need to eat to live not live to eat, it's perfect common sense.

Afterwards we agrees that 1/2 stone off in the next 4 weeks would be a good goal for me because I'm not like stones and stones overweight I think I've got about 19lbs to loose now - I also promised or maybe a "try my best" not to weigh myself for 2 weeks when I go back for the band tightening.

It's not a scary experience but I do believe I had my fist clinched the whole way through and Stella confirmed this.

When I came out and checked my phone Steve had sent me a text, yep after 5 years I finally got him texting "what time you home babes?" my reply "about 20 minutes but I've just had an operation sons nice hot bath would be nice".

My stomach actually felt tight and does while I write this, I'm under no illusion that this is some quick fix, because it isn't, but what I'm sure of is by the spring/summertime I won't have that disgusting look I gave myself when I went to next to try some clothes on the other week, I also know that like with slimming clubs I've always struggled because I have wanted the naughty foods and pigged out on free foods - I'm not going to have this feeling anymore, come on no food is free what your body doesn't use it turns it to fat, apart from celery Which you actually use more calories eating but then it tastes disgusting - for now I'm going for good taste over quantity!

Off to listen to my cd now so hope you have enjoyed reading and don't forget to share my blog!