The First Session

I felt a little bit aprehensive as I went through the door, but it all soon disappeared as I was greated with a warm friendly smile.

I sat on a comfy couch and we soon got down to business, the aim of today was to find out why I overeat.

You go to most slimming clubs and your told what you can and cannot eat, but this does not get to the route of your problems, so we started to explore my eating patterns. Do I eat when im unhappy? Nope most definatley not, when my son died I never ate for 2 weeks. Do I eat when im anxious or stressed? Nope. Do I eat when Im happy? most definately, food comes along to me with happiness. When I was unhappy with my marriage I wasnt overweight, I yo-yo-ed a little bit but didnt go overweight, but then my ex didnt have much tact and would soon tell me if I was getting fatter but then so did his mother! When I left and with Steve he makes me happy so I just eat because no matter what my size doesnt make no difference to him, infact he says he likes me as I am, however im not happy so this is for ME!

For those of us that have had babies we all know that when they have had enough there isnt a cat in hells chance of getting them to eat anymore so why do we do it? Take yourself back to childhood, sit at the table, money is tight and your mum puts your meal on the table, you eat until your satisfied put your knife and fork down and you get this ringing in your ears "your not leaving that table young lady until you have cleared that plate", "if you dont eat all that there will be no pudding" "your not getting anymore food today, so dont come back in hour and tell me your starving"..... so there the foundations of over eating are laid.

When im eating im normally rushing around or sat watching tv or reading facebook, well come on facebook is like my daily paper, its like my relaxing time. However by the time I realise that im actually stuffed ive eaten every scrap on my plate, just like my mum told me to.

I never really want to eat breakfast, although ive always been told that I must to get the body moving, to fuel me for the day, but when I have breakfast I still want dinner and tea, so if I feel like I dont want it why do I push it down my throat?

Monday is my first session of hypnotherpy until then I have to fill in food charts, but thats not the most important thing, the thing is I must write down my thoughts on why im eating and how it made me feel. I must make concious decisions when Im choosing food.

So here are a few of my thoughts this week.

I went to buy a flask for work, I paid more for a smaller flask so I couldnt but 2 tins of soup in it instead of one.

I hate diet coke, but if I go out I like to drink barcadi and coke (full fat), I went out last night and drank diet coke, I didnt like it, but after my 2nd drink I got more used to it.

When choosing my meals Ive opted for the more healthy range, not choosing anything over 300 calories.

Instead of having a giant yorkshire pudding with my homemade stew I had 2 small ones and put it in a cereal bowl instead of a large plate.

My aim is that I dont think about food or my next meal, my body will tell me when it needs a little something in it. After im satisfied any food I eat is waste and will turn to fat, so there really isnt any point in abusing my body, more my mind.

Hopefully one day this year when Im trying something on in the Next changing rooms I wont be disgusted with my body!